I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
