U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
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