Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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