His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
