it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
