Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
