so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
