I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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