Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
