his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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