If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
