Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
