i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
