I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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