dude i'm inner monologue high
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
