that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
