His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
