i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
