I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize