She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
