My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
