Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
