try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize