i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
