So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
