There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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