barbara walters just said penis...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Couch. On fire.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
