I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
