i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
