we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize