she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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