Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize