I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
