i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
