i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
