Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
