we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Randomize
