Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
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my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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