I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
