She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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