I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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