Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
