he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
