Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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