carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
