What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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