That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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