I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
