he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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