if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
