I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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