porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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