my phone needs a breathalizer
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize