He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
