So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
