That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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