i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
