is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Boobs speak an international language.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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