he was CRYING into my vagina
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
