Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
