Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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