i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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