Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
