Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
