Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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