is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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