i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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